Okay, I’ve just realised that you’re probably less interested in me, the Fauna Philosopher (meh, who cares about the pasty human) and more curious about the real brains – and inspiration – behind this operation: my two kitties.
So, to kick things off, please give a warm welcome to …
Tank the Ragdoll
The first thing you should probably know about Tank is that he used to be kind of a jerk. And by ‘kind of’ I mean … he was a jerk. A big one.
This video isn’t of him … but it could be. I’ve seen him do this more than a few times, but more importantly, that look at the end his definitely his signature move.
The thing about Tank though is that he’s the type of jerk that you can’t help but love. Not only because he’s a ridiculously good-looking feline, but also because he is Really Fricken Clever (yes, that deserved caps).
This is definitely a dash of anthropomorphism, but Brian I always describe Tank as being a mini human. He talks to us (I’ll get it on video one of these days), prefers our company to Bear’s and acts like our tiny, furry child.
In short: he knows what he’s doing and exactly how to play us hur dur dur humans like a fiddle.
But, at the blossoming age of six, he’s now at the stage where he’s got his sh*t together.
He knows what he likes and doesn’t like and is comfortable in his own skin. He’s confident, content and only occasionally loses his temper and beats us all up.
He’s actually a pretty cool kitty. And between you and me – because I know you won’t judge me too much – he’s also sort of my BFF. Tank gets me. And even though we argue sometimes (Me: But I want to cuddle you! Why look so cute if you don’t want to be cuddled?! Tank: No, Human. Go away), we’re still best mates.
Here’s some other stuff you should know about Tank:
- He’s a master escape artist. In fact I’m pretty sure it was Tank that initiated the Escape Plot of February 2015.
- He was a blissful only child for three years … then we adopted his arch nemesis, Bear.
- He only drinks from a running tap.
- He loves tuna. And salmon.
- But he hates mince.
- From behind, he looks like he’s wearing MC Hammer pants.
- He feels the same way about people going near his behind: “You can’t touch this.”
- And he loathes vets with the fire of a thousand suns. Even when they don’t go near his butt.
- He’s actually Bear’s uncle.
- And his attitude towards Bear is equal parts ambivalent, patient and irritated beyond belief. Think of the relationship between Scar and Simba, but without all the murderous intent. Wait, actually …
- His favourite activities including chasing string, cuddling under the covers, eating and scaring the sh*t out of Bear. Does a bear poop in the woods? He does if Tank is there to scare the crap out of him.
- And he likes feet. A lot. I even have to warn visitors about his amorous sneaker habits.
Oh, and this is his face when he’s trying to get his chill on, but Brian won’t stop snoring. (That’s Brian’s leg in the background, in case you were wondering … I’m definitely a lazy shaver, but that’s beyond my hair-growing abilities.)
Yep, so, that’s Tank. And while I’m sure you’ll be hearing a lot more about him, I hope this serves as a brief introduction into the inner psyche of Tank the Ragdoll cat.
Next up … Bear the Ragdoll.